There is something special about winding down a year and starting the beginning of a new year. I tend to glance back at all the things that happened in my life that I wanted to happen, as well as all the things that happened that I absolutely 100% did NOT want to happen. Every year this is something I journal about it as well as spending some time in meditation surrendering my thoughts about the past year. So I made this big poster and I drew a massive line down the middle and I literally wrote all this stuff out so I can see it! My facial expressions are a trip, sometimes happy and elated and at other times red faced with anger and disappointment where my palms where even sweating as I wrote it out. It was like living it all over again in fast-forward. I feel like when you put ink to paper something incredible always happens. It seems our brain and physical bodies have a connection to the action of writing things down. I can’t really describe it exactly but something does SHIFT. I usually let the poster just hang around my office for a few days….maybe a week at the most. I feel like any longer than that it just gives it too much attention. During my week of reflection it gives me a good idea of things I need to work on in the coming year and it also tells me where I have worked too hard trying to control things and force things to happen that are just simply beyond my control.
The dictionary suggests this as a definition to surrender: to allow something (such as a habit or desire) to influence or control you. Maybe re-read that a few times through, even out loud to yourself!!!!
As westerners, we are somehow trained to only reach for surrender as the last possible resort. It is so ironic to me how we end up on our knees in an emotional wreck asking for something to save us! It is almost like the word surrender is strange or foreign to us. As you study yoga in depth you realize Patanjili constantly refers back to the practice of surrender quite often. Even BKS Iyengar …. “As Indian yoga master B. K. S. Iyengar states in his Light on the Yoga Sutras, “Through surrender the aspirant’s ego is effaced, and…grace…pours down upon him like a torrential rain.” My favorite part about that line is “grace pours down upon him.” Did you hear that? Grace. We all should allow ourselves more grace. He also says this is possible through the choice of surrender. As we choose to surrender control, ecstasy awaits us on the other side.
Now as I stare at my poster of should haves, could haves, did haves and would haves, I am free to experience the power of true surrender. I think I will take this poster and put it in the burning fire since as I am writing this we are currently snowed and iced in here in Lubbock , TX. It is time to put it all behind me and move forward to 2015. Happy New Year Everyone…..let’s make this amazing!